Toni-English

I am in Austria learning a new language. At times, it is like learning any new language: frustrating to understand the new sounds, let alone the meaning. The problem is, I'm not learning German or even the language of some of my co-workers (Polish).

I am learning what I call 'Toni-English.' And it is
AWESOME.

I mean, bless his heart! He loves to communicate with me in English and God knows I didn't understand shit in German my first week. Although, by the end of it, I could pick the word 'sheiza!' out of any sentence, anywhere.

Here are a few of the jems with a few fun quotes to follow. Enjoy!

Toni: You have to be careful whe you give away the caps.
Me: What?! (Thinking, 'I didn't give away anything! What caps???')
Toni: When you give away... the tops (makes hand motion to show top of a bottle)
Me: Uhm, I didn't give away anything...
Toni: Hm. Maybe not you then. Maybe Hans-Jörg. But be careful. Or maybe this happen. (Holds up his hand to show me a cut)
Me: Ohhh! Yeah. Me too. (I show him my cut on my hand)

Translation- In this case, 'give away' means removing the stubborn wrapper off of the necks of the bottles before you stack them in one of the many bins where unwrapped bottles are stacked.


Toni: I go catch up the track.

Translation- 'I am going to go get the tractor and bring it here.'

Often, 'catch' means 'get,' 'take' means 'put,' and thank the gods I learned the German word for 'bucket' and 'forklift.' I can't spell them in proper German but I know them when I hear them.


Toni: Okay, now you put the... what's the English word?
Me: Hose.
Toni: Now you put hose in the cannery.
Me: UH, where's the cannery?
Toni: There. (points to the ground, not to a building)
Me: ???
Toni: Cannery, there. There in the cannery. And turn on.
Me: Is it around the corner? By the tank room?
Toni: NO! In the CANNERY! THERE!

After a little more shouting and pointing at the ground near the gravel, I finally figure it out.
Translation- 'Cannery' means 'trench,' 'gutter' or 'canal.'


At breakfast before Day 2 of work.
Toni: I think you will be sore from all of the cleaning yesterday?
Me: Uhm, yeah. (I move my arms to see how sore) But not too bad.
Toni: We have magnesium. I give you a tablet. It will help.
Toni exits to the medicine cabinient and returns with a large, white pill. He grins big.
Toni: Here you go. Estacy.


Hans-Jörg is telling me about all the places I can bicycle on my day off.
Hans-Jörg: You must go and see Austria countryside. Is very beautiful. Is big...
Toni laughs hysterically.
Toni: Hans-Jörg! NO! Austria is not BIG! AMERICA is BIG!


There will be more. I am sure. There will be more...